“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” 

William Faulkner

I am at a place in my life where I am feeling pulled in two different directions and no matter how much thought and prayer I put into it, I haven’t been able to decide which is the right direction. Where I am now, what I do now, is known and comfortable. It is like a well-worn, favorite chair. I have been sitting here for years and I know what to expect. To get out of that chair and move to something new might be uncomfortable, or it might have a different outcome than I expect. I would miss this place where I can sit safe and secure in my comfort zone. I can’t see the new horizon without losing sight of the safe shore I am on and that is scary.

But, as scary as it is, a new horizon might be freeing and wonderful. How does one let go of the comfortable and familiar shore and swim out into the seemingly never ending and uncertain sea in search of new horizons? It takes courage, yes, but also how does one know it is the right thing to do? Is the shore I’m on comfortable because that is where I am supposed to stay? Or does God have something better for me, if I just have the courage to swim out to claim it?

How I wish God would speak to me as audibly as I can hear my friends and family speak to me. I have always struggled to differentiate His promptings from my own desires. How do I know that I am not putting my own desires in the front seat and calling it His will because it feels right? Sometimes it is hard to look to God’s Word for an answer because it is challenging to apply to specific modern day problems. How can the Bible tell me whether I should quit milking goats and focus solely on raising my kids? Am I doing my kids justice when so much of my time and resources are given to the goats? Are my kids missing out on too much because we have to be home to milk and chore every 12 hours, every day? Or, if I stop milking goats, will I be teaching them to quit when things get hard? Is the heartbreak I feel when I think about selling my goats because it is the wrong decision or is it just something hard I need to do so I can focus on the most important job I’ll ever have – raising my kids?

In putting these thoughts to words and searching for answers, I found these verses:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”.

Proverbs 3:5-6 

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

Perhaps it is time for me to trust in the Lord, uproot from this shore and step out into the way He makes through the wilderness and wasteland. I don’t know exactly what that looks like yet but I will continue praying about it and putting my trust in the Lord. I do think it is time for some changes. After all, the end of something is not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that something else is about to begin.

Tell me in the comments if you have ever struggled with a big life decision. How has God spoken to you?